Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America . Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force.

When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm. The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone, including the President.

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor. "Hank," the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see this terrible accident happen?" 

 

"Yep. Sure did." The farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off his motor. "Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States?" "Yep." "Were there any survivors?" "Nope. They's all kilt straight out" the farmer answered. "I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.."

"President Obama is dead?" the sheriff shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor.

"He kept a-saying he wasn't ... but you know what a liar he is."

 At St. Peter's Catholic Church in New York, they have weekly husband's marriage seminars. 

At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay

married to the same woman all these years.

Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda

da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!'

The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here!

Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary?'

Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go pick her up.